Today, after an accidental 2 mile jog, I found myself drinking a coconut water in my shower. And then I remembered shower beers! If this concept is unfamiliar to you, then you missed a crucial part of your early adult development, and I strongly suggest you do some make-up homework.
But the point is that I went on a 2 mile jog! By accident!!!
"How could that happen?" you ask. It's the heart rate monitor, it's telling me what to do, though not in an OBEY SATAN kind of way. It calculates a crap ton of data based on your height/weight, age, and fitness level. Using its tiny brain, it produced a set of goals for me to achieve this week. To explain what these goals are, I have to tell you about the "Zones", so bear with me, or go here instead.
Zone 1 = walking like you have somewhere to be.
Zone 3 = anything from being breathless to working so hard you want to vomit.
Zone 2 = between zone 1 and zone 3.
It told me to do a set amount of time in each zone, and most of it was in zone 2. So I set out with the intention of going on a brisk walk with Chubby Puppy. Geared up and poop bags in hand, We went to that weird walking trail behind the Costco which I knew would be plowed but empty, and we started walking. I hit zone 1, no problem, but couldn't walk quite fast enough to maintain zone 2, so I started running. Then BAM, zone 3...also not what I was shooting for. I slowed down to get into zone 2, and realized I was jogging! Not only was I jogging, but I was jogging at a pace I could keep up for a really long time because I couldn't let myself get out of breath or I would be in zone 3 again. This meant I was going pretty slow, and even Chubby Puppy could keep up with me the entire time. F*cking Brilliant!
Now I have an easy way to feed my heart rate monitor, and a new workout partner. What has your watch done for you lately?
Sincerely,
Fat Lesbian
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